with each successive event, it takes more earth-cycles for its vessel to reanimate.
the husk laid still and brittle for several days, eyes unblinking. surrounded though it was by rituals and incense burners choking the air with smells of shadow and chaos.
the raspy breaths came before the new moon, just as the necromancer had predicted over scattered finger bones.
the interest rolls over, the debt deepens.
Unfortunately, due to the latest round of budget cuts in Hell, the processing station at the Gates was unable to accommodate the Senator. A hold up with Ann Widdecombe, and Lindsay Graham slipping under the little rope thingy to corral the waiting sinners, meant there was no more capacity at this time.
A spokesperson for Hell apologised for the holdup: “We’re very sorry for the delay, and a system upgrade is in progress - more weights are being cast from the regrets of the damned, so our scales can process more of the notable members of government as they slide down towards the icy maw of our dark master. We’re committed to ensuring the Senator is able to experience the full breadth of what Hell can offer.”
Alternately:
Graham gave his life so that McConnell could live on. Heartwarming.
“And who do you think donated the dick and balls?”
An unwilling rat.
Mmm I’m still not buying. Nothing about this couldn’t be made by ai and sent by staffers as a veneer of officialness. Not like cnn is a credible source of truth on anything.
They can still have him die later in rehab with no issue.
Need a few more verifications from other people that are not related to this issue.
I mean maybe they chose a picture instead of a video for reasons?
Okay - everybody - take 18… Action.
“Honey, you’re looking well.”
“phrrrrrrrrrr phrrrrrrrrrr phrrrrrrrrrr mmmmmmmfffffffffffffffffffffff”
So a bit like a Biden interview lmao
Oh yeah.
In a post truth world where AI can make indistinguishable pictures, we’re going to need live streamers to be in the room reacting to chat in front of Schrodinger’s senators. If McConnel is alive on ishowspeed’s channel, he’s alive
Those who control the stream keys control reality.
psspsspspss chatbots, viewbots, filters, hackers, bribes, threats, incentives psspsspssDamn
Hehe. “Chat, is Mitch alive or am I capping?”
I can believe it if only because these ghouls have access to some of the best care in the country. Does that mean much? Not really. Even before this he was in clear cognitive/functional decline. At this point I wouldn’t be shocked if for the most part his staff was just continuing most of his work based off of broad instructions.
Yeah this is absolutely true. And I allow that he totally could be just fine. I mean how long did fucking Chaney live, he had no pulse for years because of continuous heart device, multiple transplants.
Anyway entirely possible he’s alive, or was out for a while and just woke up. BUT they were super weird about it, said basically nothing and then put this out, and nothing about it couldn’t be easily faked now by an idiot with an ai subscription.
Not sure what would have been more compelling to be honest, just don’t trust anything these fuckers say at this point. The entire system has adapted to just straight lying at all times, telling the truth would actually be a remarkable occurrence…
Alternatively, I like the narratives people are putting out about Lindsey Graham being sacrificed/leeched to restore MxConnell, that fits well in out hyper reality.
Putting McConnell on the Golden Throne, feeding him a thousand Epstein victims per day.
he had no pulse for years because of continuous heart device
Imagine a future where people get LVAD devices as a cosmetic procedure to seem undead.
I will turn all of my organs into contraptions made of synthetic polymers and nickel alloys powered by diesel engines in order to look cool to my constituents who are made of slimy meat.
Yeah like fitness goths. You can be undead, plus maybe tweak flow rate to optimize oxygen delivery or something.
Look closely at the newspaper, the big bolded words should be legible but they’re gibberish. Its ai.
Appears to be a real newspaper page from yesterday, though the photo might’ve been slop doctored on top of it (to make him look healthier or alive I dunno)
I think that’s just baseball
Die already, please
If it was due to a fall, there is a good chance that he now has noticeable brain damage. Its going to be a chaotic ~week until he falls again.
What is the difference between Mitch McConnell with brain damage versus Mitch McConnell without brain damage?
Public address will be more eventful
More so than the time his face turned to the blue screen of death for like a solid ninety seconds?
I just want one person in the room when he does press conferences to play the WindowsXP restart sound when the turt stops talking.
Sock puppet
Everybody say it with me: Nothing ever
It’s wild that Lindsay Graham died today and yet Still nothing has happened
You’re telling me this vegetable spoke by its own volition?
I guess he finally woke up.
Oh there is two of them. I was a bit confused whether that guy is dieing in a hospital or in an Ukrainian weapons factory
