Eh, I’m from Detroit, we drink Canadian beer and would never speak ill of our southern neighbors. Heck, I grew up watching Hockey Night on CBC and listening to 89x. Can’t speak for the rest of the country though.

But for real, these critters sound scary, and apparently we’re all out of science. Or any sort of common sense. Yeah, we’re fucked.

Hey Canadians, you guys still have science up there, right? I got a two-four of Molson or Labatt for ya if you can lend your continental neighbors a hand. Don’t do it for the US, but help out Mexico eh?

Conover, are you flushing golf balls again?!

I didn’t realize Portland had this struggle. In many parts of the country, it’s simply understood as their God-given right to have access to an AR-15.