Extensive Slack chat logs passed to authorities:

Hexbear mod: You weren’t the one who did it right???

Hexber user: I am I’m sorry.

Hexbear mod: I thought they caught the person?

Hexbear user: no, they grabbed some old dude, then interrogated someone in similar clothing. I had planned to dab the tip with a napkin from the concession stand, but most of it had already dribbled down my leg. it’s quiet, almost enough to wipe it on the seat but there’s still a family watching the credits.

Hexbear mod: Why?

Hexbear user: Why did I do it?

Hexbear mod: Yeah

Hexbear user: I had too much water at the asparagus eating contest. Some times you can’t hold it. If I am able to carry the popcorn bucket I used down to the bathroom, I will have left no evidence. Going to attempt to dump it again, hopefully that family will have moved on. I haven’t seen them question the smell.

Hexbear mod: How long have you been planning this?

Hexbear user: Since the third act started I believe. I could have went to the bathroom but I didn’t want to miss the part where the guy slays the demons. I didn’t want to chance it.