• LeylaLove [she/her, love/loves]@hexbear.net
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    5 days ago

    I’m sober nowadays, but psychedelics are the only drugs I can look back fondly on without any reservations. Might do them again some day, just not anytime soon.

    Honestly I think it depends on setting and mindset, I can think of a few trips than fundamentally changed who I was as a person, whether that was making me realize that I could be trans, or helping me see how much of a hindrance my own ego was. In the same vain, I can think of many trips where I was easily manipulated by others, or overly sure of my own thought patterns. The difference between these trips was usually the headspace I was taking them in. The life-changing trips, I was tripping just to trip, expecting nothing out of it. The ones that harmed me long term, I was seeking guidance from the drugs when I should have just trusted myself in the first place.

    I also wouldn’t say ego death would be what you seek for your depression/cynicism, ego death is kinda overrated in psychedelics. Sometimes beautiful, but it’s more the sort of thing you work your way up to instead of going for it right from the get go. You can get all the benefits off a trip at lower doses, although I don’t really fuck with micro dosing unless you have a specific plan for it.

    • Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      5 days ago

      This is pretty important info and I appreciate it. And the micro dosing stuff too. Therapy in the convential sense isn’t helping me much. There’s just too much to unpack in bi weekly hour sessions. Every therapist seems to just want to push me off. Which kind of turns me off.

      I had a dream two nights ago about accidently cutting off my junk and it seeing it was more of a prosthetic. Maybe it was foreshadowing the Musk story, but I looked down at the stub that was left and just wondered - now that would work? Like I wasn’t too worried / freaked out.