this would be an amazing throwaway line in a scifi, that some unreconstructed tribe of nazis in what used to be idaho are still replaying the tradition of an annual failed pentagon audit
The so-called Audit Watchmen formed in 2054 in order to tackle the rampant corruption of the ancient Amerikkkan Empire after a particularly egregious (and 38th consecutive) failed internal audit from the “Pentagon”, a shell company that laundered tax money into the pockets of gun oil salesmen. Sadly, even the noble Watchmen couldn’t escape the endless pit of IOUs and government issued IOUSA stablecoins, so after 93 failed audits of their own (excluding the Great Government Shutdown of the 2130s), the Audit Watchmen Accountants were born!
Of course, the entire practice had been rendered obselete at that point, as the actual capital city of said civilization had long since sunk into the sea, leaving only a small internal network of chatbots - and one very frazzled tech mogul in Northern Virginia - to endlessly squabble about the skyrocketing price of threaded screws.
And that’s why we don’t take the I-95 anymore, good question.
I will find the constitution, or another will find the constitution, but the constitution will be restored in this year or in another year. As it once was, so shall it be again, world without end.
edit: oh no i just realized that in this timeline, there’s also a tribe of liberals in northern california or something, who are still ritually impeaching trump every year for being russian.
this would be an amazing throwaway line in a scifi, that some unreconstructed tribe of nazis in what used to be idaho are still replaying the tradition of an annual failed pentagon audit
The so-called Audit Watchmen formed in 2054 in order to tackle the rampant corruption of the ancient Amerikkkan Empire after a particularly egregious (and 38th consecutive) failed internal audit from the “Pentagon”, a shell company that laundered tax money into the pockets of gun oil salesmen. Sadly, even the noble Watchmen couldn’t escape the endless pit of IOUs and government issued IOUSA stablecoins, so after 93 failed audits of their own (excluding the Great Government Shutdown of the 2130s), the Audit Watchmen Accountants were born!
Of course, the entire practice had been rendered obselete at that point, as the actual capital city of said civilization had long since sunk into the sea, leaving only a small internal network of chatbots - and one very frazzled tech mogul in Northern Virginia - to endlessly squabble about the skyrocketing price of threaded screws.
And that’s why we don’t take the I-95 anymore, good question.
edit: oh no i just realized that in this timeline, there’s also a tribe of liberals in northern california or something, who are still ritually impeaching trump every year for being russian.
One of the roles in that ritual is the person who plays the legendary waffler Susan Collins
and the whole thing will confusingly blend with the memories of burning man